There's not a lot better than a sausage roll, really. Only multiple sausage rolls.
They're simple, cheap and easy to eat, filling a gap that a lot of other foods can't seem to satisfy. However, the game has changed.
Some lucky sod will become the person who buys and eats the biggest ever sausage roll sold in a supermarket.
It's the same size as a Subway sandwich and weighs almost half a kilogram (455g), but it is four times heavier and double the length of your average roll. If anything you're not buying this out of hunger, you're buying it for status.
The pastry is going on sale at Morrisons, and of course, there'll be more than one, but only one person can be first. From then on they'll be king or queen of pastry treats, instantly eligible to endless free products from any bakery anywhere in the world.
But there's more great news. Not only will these be perfect for football fans heading to stadiums during the new season, they'll only cost £1.
“We sell one million freshly baked sausage rolls every week, but customers have asked for one that is even bigger – so we created this foot-long version,” Morrisons Pie and Pastry Expert, Philippa Shaw, said: “With the start of the football season approaching, we're hoping our new foot-long sausage roll will be making its way to the top of the snack league table.”
While that is great, I think we should all take a moment just to wallow in the magnificence of Philippa, who clearly has the greatest job title in the world.
The snacks are made on-site using seasoned pork meat and signature golden, flaky pastry. They'll have to be served on specially made trays rather than your average paper bag, but that's no issue, really.
The rolls have been introduced today, so get down to your Morrisons with a pound coin for one. On August 14 they'll be going up to £1.43.
Featured Image Credit: Twitter/PA